Transformational Educators | School Leadership Stories

The Unspoken Mindset: What Nobody Tells New School Principals | Transformational Educators Ep. 30

Dr. Matthew Flippen Episode 30

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The hardest parts of school leadership are not in the training manual.

In this episode of Transformational Educators, Dr. Matthew Flippen sits down with Joyce Conley-Hemmings, a practicing elementary principal in Orange County Public Schools and author of The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership. Joyce shares how the real gap between administrator preparation and effective campus leadership is not a skills gap; it is a mindset gap.

Joyce opens up about her journey from assistant principal to leading a Title I elementary school, including the internal pressure of following two strong predecessors, the challenge of walking into an A-rated school where only 50% of students were reading proficiently, and the mindset shift it took to rally her team around a single bold goal. She explains why training builds skills but mindset determines whether those skills ever become leadership, and why transparency, calibration, and starting with one thing are the keys to building momentum as a new principal.

Whether you are an aspiring administrator, a first-year principal, or a veteran leader looking for renewed clarity, this conversation offers an honest, practical look at what it really takes to lead a school through transformation.

Connect with Joyce:
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Book (Amazon)(The Unspoken Mindset)

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Joyce Conley-Hemmings

Training builds skills, but mindset determines, and I say this all the time, whether that actually becomes leadership. So we could walk into the same training, hear the same words, see the same slides, and then walk out and implement what we just learned completely differently.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

That's Joyce Conley Hemmings, a practicing elementary principal in Orange County Public Schools and the author of The Unspoken Mindset, What No One Tells You About School Leadership. With 16 years in education, from the classroom to the front office, Joyce knows that the hardest part of becoming a principal is not what they teach you in training.

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

This school I walked in, I was like, okay, they're an A, right? We made an A. However, what does that A look like in numbers, right? So on my first year, proficiency was my goal. If I'm walking into a school and we're at 50% proficient, that's telling me that half of the students in this school can read.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

In this episode, you'll learn how mindset shapes a new principal's success, how Joyce turned a school with just 50% reading proficiency into a unified effort around one bold goal, and why calibration, transparency, and a single clear focus are essential for building lasting momentum on any campus. I'm Dr. Matthew Flippin, and this is Transformational Educators.

Why mindset makes or breaks school leadership

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Joyce, for those listening who may not be familiar with your work on the unspoken mindset of leadership, I'd love to know what that means for school leaders in term in real terms.

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

So I'll tell you a little bit about my journey and how I started and got to that place of the unspoken mindset. When I began as an administrator, we didn't have a lot of supports, right? So I always talk about how moving from an instructional leader to an assistant principal was very challenging for me. So as a person who didn't have that, I really wanted to be a place where new and aspiring leaders could come, get advice, get support, get training, get coaching. And so I was doing that work for a few years and I started to write a book. And when I was writing this handbook, this AP handbook, this toolkit, something spoke to me and said that I've got to go deeper. And so I landed on the unspoken mindset because in my leadership, a lot of what is not shared is what I needed. I needed someone to tell me all of the unwritten rules and whether or not it was true or false, or if I was just copying and mimicking. And so when I started to go towards the unspoken mindset, I really wanted to target and hit on mindset shifts because training builds skills, but mindset determines, and I say this all the time, whether that actually becomes leadership. So we could walk into the same training, hear the same words, see the same slides, and then walk out and implement what we just learned completely differently. And I feel like that's because one person's mindset is able to do that and another is not. So I wanted to get to the root and get deeper into supporting leaders with that mindset shift, the pivotal ones that's going to make or break us because it really starts there.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

That's great. Yeah, I think that is so true. I can run through so many examples in my mind of leaders on both sides of that. And even in my own, in my own approach and being, you know, I think about self-awareness as being so critical for leaders, but being able to have a trusted mentor guide in your journey of self-discovery, self-uh, you know, increasing self-awareness is so, is so critical. Well, yeah, thanks for thanks for sharing that. So,

What Joyce noticed when she arrived on campus

Dr. Matthew Flippen

so today, as we're talking about uh, you know, how how data and interpreting and using data to move a school forward, uh, how important that is, I think about how mindset and that unspoken mindset really does have is going to have an impact on this story as we unpack your your own personal experience. Talk to us a little bit about the campus that you're leading right now. Just give us some context about what it was like when you arrived and what some of the things that you recognized early on that you might want to address to help it, help it grow.

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

So I this is year two at this school. So I've been a principal for two years now. And when I walked into this school, I walked into that interview extremely confident, right? And I think that walking through the doors helped me with that. And so my school, I love to brag on because when you walk in the front doors, you feel good. You feel good. But I came in behind a principal who had been there for one principal was there for 14 years. So she had built culture, she had established things, right? And then the next principal really worked on moving that school from a lower grade where graded, um, uh I think it was a D. And the time that I walked in, that end of that year before I came in, they made it to an A. So she had put in a lot of work, established tons of systems, and it was working. And then here I come, new principal. I don't even know what to say. It was a challenge moving from I always say, oh, my work is in instructional to administration. And I was a pretty good assistant principal. I was a pretty good assistant principal. I was um one of the finalists for assistant principal of the year in my district. So when I walked in, again, confident, ready to go, and then bam. And I mean, I was shaken by some of the pressures that I felt in my first year. And so unfortunately, I'm still standing. I'm still standing, I'm still smiling. But and it wasn't the school because that the school was the perfect school. I tell my um supervisor all the time, this is the perfect school to start in. Perfect school. We are Title I school. So we have high Esau population as well. I have um uh Spanish speaking, Portuguese, Haitian Creole. I have a myriad of cultures on my campus. Most of the staff has been there for years. They've been there for 20 plus years. So the culture is there, the family environment is there. And then I'm there now. And so my goal is to continue that, building that culture, pushing and continuing the to look at data for what it is and making decisions based off of that. So I have an amazing school. I love my school, I love my staff, my students, my families. I'm very, very blessed.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Hey, is today's conversation resonating with you? You know, the educators we feature on this podcast all have one thing in common. They're committed to growth, not just for their students, but for themselves. At Graceland University, we've built programs and partnerships that support that kind of growth, servant leadership, and school transformation for educators who want to make a lasting difference. If you're curious about what that could look like for you, scan the QR code or check out the link in the show notes. Let's get back to the conversation.

The pressure nobody warns new principals about

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Well, you mentioned the pressure that you felt. I mean, I can tell Joyce, you're a you're a high performer, right? I mean, you want to succeed with excellence in everything that you do. And so talk talk to me about that pressure that you felt from day one. Okay.

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

Pressure is real, and people don't realize the pressure is very internal as much as it is external. And you want to do well. So when you're walking in, you have to remember that every word that comes out of your mouth, every look that's on your face, people are watching you. And you have to be mindful of that. So when you're building those relationships, because relationships are essential when it comes to walking into any school, whether you're the principal, a new teacher, um, if you're a support staff coming into a new school, you want to build relationships. As the principal, all eyes are on you. And I felt like, and I know that it wasn't just a feeling, but I knew that people were watching me. People were, and I hate to say this, but sometimes it's our reality. Some people are waiting for you to mess up. And so you have to make sure that in the event that you do, you're ready to own up to your mistakes, you're ready to tackle any issues, and you're really ready to not ruffle too many feathers your first year. So finding that balance is a little hard. So again, it's external, but it's also internal because even though I know I can't please everyone, I want people to be happy. I want people to walk through the doors, whether they're a student, a parent, a staff member, a visitor, I want them to walk in and feel good. And that is a weight that I was carrying. So in my book that I wrote, I talked about was that necessary to carry? Is that is that weight necessary? Um, and I had to think and realign my thoughts to realize that not everything, what all of those pressures was was worth, you know, being stressed over. But they're there and they happen every single day.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Those are definitely real. I mean, I can imagine, I can picture this scenario, right? I mean, you described it, you know, a beloved principal for a long period of time. The school was not necessarily performing where it needed to. A new leader came in and and ran the, you know, raised the uh outcomes. Um, and so it it could be a natural thing to step in and say, okay, well, we're good. Let's just leave things alone so I don't create conflict. I want people to still feel good about being here, feel good about you as the leader. But I'm sure there was something that you identified that you still thought, wow, there's some gaps here that I

Why an 'A' rating was not the whole story

Dr. Matthew Flippen

want to address. So, so before we talked about like how you went about addressing those, what did you identify as some areas that you thought, wow, we still could get even better?

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

Yeah. So I have a couple of experiences with that. So I have my my previous school that one of the previous schools I was in, they were high achieving, high achieving. Anybody that walked in, whether you are been teaching for five years or new or 30 years, the students were going to, the school was gonna get an A, right? And I walked in and I noticed that that A wasn't A enough for me, right? So in that lens, I wanted to make sure that we we attacked um the systems, we attacked the the culture, we attacked the expectations. This school I walked in and I was like, okay, they're an A, right? We made an A. However, what does that A look like in numbers, right? So proficiency was my on my first year, proficiency was my goal. If I'm walking into a school and we're at 50% proficient, that's telling me that half of the students in this school can read. So although we were an A, I had a problem with that. And I explained that very nicely to my staff because I felt it was important for them to see it that way. Yes, we are in a school. Yes, we are moving the needle with our hopeful 25, our students who need the most support. However, only half of our students can read. And I wanted to change that. So my focus that year was this past year was all right, learning gains will come. We need to target and attack tier one instruction, and that's proficiency. And people thought that, oh, you're not gonna worry about learning gains, you're not gonna worry about interventions. And it wasn't that. It was I felt we would get more out of making sure that our students could read so that they could do math, they can do science, they can do all of the things, than really just making sure we're intervening, intervening, intervening. And that also allowed for me to kind of take a step back and have one focus and not do too much in one year.

How to build buy-in around one clear goal

Dr. Matthew Flippen

So yeah. So how did the team come around you with this focus? How'd you build, how did you build collaboration and and the support? Uh, because like you said, we're an A. So there are lots of people who would say, yeah, that's good. But I mean, I have a heart for those children that aren't on level, and it sounds like you do too.

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

So just putting it that way, making people see it in the way of 50% half of can, can't. We always try to look at the glass half full, but sometimes we have to look at that empty part and say, hey, how do we fill it up? Right. So that we can make more of an impact. And I was very transparent. New leadership, it was not just me, it was a new assistant principal, new principal, new coaches, new leadership, we're going to need some time. So just being um open and transparent about that and asking for feedback, it really allowed for me to get some buy-in. So when you start to, you know, tap into your teacher leaders and you open up and you build that trust and you just stick to what is our goal, people around you start to build. And the reality is at the end of the year, we didn't get the A, but we moved the proficiency up and we were only four points away. So then you say, All right, see, look, it's okay to start with this. It's okay, this is working. So then, of course, this year we start and we start focusing on something else. So it was just about taking those steps and getting the buy-in and really being there to build the trust and let them to see what it is your goal is. And that's really important.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Yes, absolutely. Yeah, and I and I know from my own experience that sometimes to get to the next level, you do have to take a step back. Or and you and in some ways people might say, well, performance goes down a little bit before it before it rebounds and you and you grow

The mindset shifts that keep leaders from burning out

Dr. Matthew Flippen

again. So in the process of implementing that, I'm wondering how this unspoken mindset or mindsets supported or hindered the effort that you were trying to implement.

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

When it comes to mindset, I always talk about how your mindset determines how you're going to respond to something and how you're going to receive something. So perception is reality. So we're working on how do we say, hey, it's okay? How do I say, hey, no, I'm not going to do that? Because it just that's all about mindset. If I'm okay with saying, um, you know, we're gonna have a good time today. We're not gonna do, you know, this PD. We're going to actually get together and we're going to fellowship. Okay. That's mindset because I have to say it's okay to do something. And if I am sitting here saying, I can't do that, I can't do that, I can't do that. The bull, the rules say this, the rules say that, you're just going to keep going like, you know, a hamster on a wheel when sometimes you have to say, you know what, it's okay. We're all in this together. We're going to take a step back and we're going to celebrate our wins. But if we're just constantly doing the work and we're saying, hey, I learned this, I've got to implement this, I've got to do that, and we don't stop and we don't say, Hey, how are you? Right. If we don't calm down in leadership, those are all mindset things that I wrote about in the book. If we don't, you know, use calm as a strategy when we're attacking a problem, we're not going to get anywhere. So it really starts with making those decisions on, hey, this is something I'm not okay with, or this is something I would like to move forward and do and get it done. We get the work done. So, mindset, I don't know, it's just, it's that gap between leadership of what it looks like versus, you know, what it's actually happening. And that's where, you know, mindset lies. What's what's our reality and what do we need to get done?

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Yes. No, that's fantastic.

Building trust with a new leadership team

Dr. Matthew Flippen

And your experience with that has been different, probably, than some of your team, your leadership team that was new to the campus as well. How much time did you need to invest with them directly in order for them to come on board and see the vision that you were wanting to, you know, build momentum around?

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

Yeah. And that's honestly a work in progress. Uh, my first year, I did have uh a full team, essentially a full team. Not everyone can get on board with what you're doing. And I had to learn that really fast as well. So let's say half of my team, one of my my math coach actually came with me from a previous school. So that wasn't something that I needed to build trust with, or she wasn't someone I needed to build trust with because we had already established that. It was more of she trusted me, she believed in me, so she was going to come and do the work. That was that was good. Then building other leaders on my team, it's still about communicating what it is that I'm expecting and following up on what I'm expecting. And that's not always easy your first year. Like it just isn't. So I had some struggles last year, and many people know that. Um, but this year's even better. So it's again building that trust, explaining expectations, reiterating expectations, and honestly being okay when things don't go the way that you expect them to, and regrouping. I'm a big believer in coming to the table. So I don't like to work in isolation. So when you bring in your coaches, you bring in other leadership team members, and you work collaboratively at the table, you it that's when you get the work done. That's when they start to see, all right, I want to work for this leader, I want to do well for this leader. And they see that you believe in them, that you trust them. And that's how you build that team. You know, you're building their leadership capacity, but you're also building the capacity of everyone collectively.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Absolutely. Well, as you started to roll out, and you and the team started to roll out, because I know everything you do is in collaboration, um, this effort to focus on reading proficiency.

Why calibration walks changed the work

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Um, how what process did you have in place to just check the progress of how that was going and test the are we being effective? Do we need to pivot or adjust our strategy? What did that process look like?

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

So from last year as a new principal to this year, I really had to again work on my own mindset and realize that I am the leader of the building and what I do say matters and what I um what I expect needs to be inspected. And that was a shift for me. Uh, but it was it was one of those things that I know me as a person, like personality-wise, I want to do the work with you. So this year we worked on doing those calibration walks. So instead of saying, hey, you go look at that, you go look at that, let's go look at this together. And so we could see the trends. So we're in the room, hey, when we walk out, we're having those conversations. What did you notice? What do we need to work on? And then that that transfer from what did we see, what trends are happening, and then how do we solve it? So providing coaching, um, uh targeting our professional development for what we just saw, those are things that I got a lot better at in year two than I was in year one. And my team is growing and it's evident. And my I'm telling you, I am so proud of the work that my teachers are doing, my staff. I just I get kind of emotional sometimes this time of the year because you can see the work, right? You can see the results of your work starting to happen. And so, yeah, it was just about being in it together. It is, you know, I'm not gonna throw you to the wolves and make you go do it on your own. You want to see how I see, I want to see how you see, and then we want to see how we can calibrate and be together, you know? So that's important.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Well, that word calibration is really important. I mean, I totally, totally understand that and appreciate that. In the process of taking people along with you and getting on the same page, but also having that time to openly communicate and give feedback back and forth. I mean, that's establishing the shared leadership um uh culture that is uh really, really strong. So yeah, that is really, that is really fantastic.

How leaders can avoid data overwhelm

Dr. Matthew Flippen

So, you know, I think about you know, leaders that sometimes feel overwhelmed by data, right? I mean, when you looked at and you identified uh reading proficiency as a potential area, that was one of many that you could have seen, right? Um, so what guidance would you give to leaders of, you know, when they're stepping in, they're looking at all the different things they could work on, on how to focus and not feel overwhelmed by the by the challenges that might be evident, you know, right there in front of

Start with the one thing that matters most

Dr. Matthew Flippen

them.

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

My advice would honestly be to start with that one thing, that one thing that's going to make the biggest difference that you see making, right? So would have me focusing on our hopeful 25, our learning gains in the first year made a difference? Maybe, but I saw the biggest impact as a whole, because I always tell everyone my lens is about everyone, everything, every pocket. It's not just about third grade or the specific teachers at all, about everyone. So, how do I make the biggest impact with that one thing and focus there? And then make sure that everybody knows what that goal is. Communication, I know it's that word, right? We we love the word communication, hate the word communication at the same time. But communicating what it is your expectations are, how we can help you to get to those goals, this is our goal. That's what's going to help a leader, period. What is what it is that you're trying to reach and the steps to get there, and then getting the right people on your side. That's very important as well. So your team matters. The people who are there to share your your vision and your mission are critical to that as well. Sometimes we don't have control at first, but that's something you want to always have in the your mind, your um, the front of your mind. It's who do I have around me and tapping into their strengths so we can meet that one thing.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Totally agree, totally agree, especially when you're new. You know, finding that that one lever that you can pick pull that's gonna get the maximum amount of impact when it It can involve uh the whole campus. That's a that is a win because everybody feels like now they're part of a mission that they are all speaking the same language. And you know, you can't do it without the right right people on the team or or the right people rowing the same direction that you're that you're rowing in. So yeah, totally, totally get that. Well, uh, Joyce, this has been very helpful. I thank you for being so authentic and honest about you know the the struggles, you know, because I mean we're we all face struggles as leaders, and being able to hear parts of your story right now has been has been really helpful.

Where to connect with Joyce

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Um, for our listeners that want to connect uh with you and learn more about your work, what's the best way for them to do that?

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

I am on social media. Um, and I do, like you said, I do like to keep it real, right? So some people say, hey, you're going to deter someone. No, I'm going to pull along the people who are ready to do this work because I'm going to tell you the truth because people didn't tell me all of the details. So I am on social media. You can find me um mostly at Joyce underscore the Unspoken Mindset. If you go to the unspoken mindset.com, everything is there as well. And yeah, so follow me.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Unspoken Mindset if you want to learn more about the book.

Joyce Conley-Hemmings

And it's the unspoken mindset when no one tells you about school leadership. So it's really focusing. Again, I started with that AP handbook and I pivoted. So it is for the aspiring and new leader, but any leader that picks up the book, it it's very helpful to realign, readjust, shake whatever it is, your mindset wherever you are in this moment. So that's how the book is structured. So if you pick it up, figure out where your mindset gaps are and read that chapter.

Dr. Matthew Flippen

Fantastic. Fantastic. I love it. Thank you, Joyce. Well, thank you. If you found today's episode valuable, please share it with a colleague or educator that would benefit from it. And if you haven't already, follow Transformational Educators so you don't ever miss an episode. And until next time, keep leading with purpose and transforming schools into places where everyone thrives. If today's conversation gave you fresh insight or inspired you to lead with purpose, please follow the show and tell a friend. It helps us reach more educators who want to make a difference. For more stories, resources, and tools to support your leadership journey, visit Graceland.edu. Until next time, keep leading with courage and care. If you want to keep learning about transformational strategies in education, click the next video.